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I Too Can Reach The Bursting Point

November 27th, 2006 by alexh

I too can reach the bursting point. That single uttered phrased that send you over the edge.  Into that pit of anger deep inside of you.  For some it is closer to the surface while others hardly ever fall in. The point is that everyone reaches this point. Be you a small child or an old crone.

In this entry by Anne I found it was particularly easy to relate to her emotions and feelings. I growing up with three siblings and also being the youngest.  In some sense Anne and I have very similar problems but then again we don’t. This is because my sister and I have different strengths and interests. I am good at one thing and she is good at another. We are rarely compared to each other, so in my family we don’t have a perfect daughter.

“ I’d like to see what you’d say if Margot ever started looking at one of your books!”  This is what Anne’s father says to Anne on page 43. I can relate to this line because I have heard many times before. Except that I have heard it from my sister when I borrow her things.  We often get in fights when this is said by either one of us.

My treatment varies so much. One day Anne is so sensible and is allowed to know everything; and then the next day I hear that Anne is just a silly little goat who doesn’t know anything at all and imagines that she’s learned a wonderful lot from books. Anne says this on page 46. These two sentences remind me of myself because this is the way I use to feel before I eighth grade. I now know that the reason they did not tell me everything was because I was not ready for grown-up worries. Worries like money and politics. Now that I am older and more mature I found that they tell me more.

I have my own views, plans, and ideas, though I can’t put them into words yet. Anne says this on page 46. In this sense I do partially agree with Anne. I often have different views on things then my parents, but that is because we have different personalities, but after living with someone for your whole life it is almost impossible not to make some of their views your own. I do have my own plans for my life, which include being my own person and following my heart.

My feelings of this entry range from déjà vu to understanding. I am sure that every child feels this once in their life and I urge you to remember what consequences your actions have not only on yourself but also the ones you love. Even strangers. I too can reach the bursting point.

Posted in Anne Frank | | | 2 Comments

Memories or dresses?

November 20th, 2006 by alexh

Your life left behind. Scattered between your neighbors along with all your possessions.  You are allowed to pack one small bag. In it you hold all that will remain of your old life, your life before the war. What would you bring? If I was in this situation where I could only pack one small bag leaving everything else behind, I would have a hard time but I could do it. If I had to choose between memories or dresses I know what I should bring. The question is, if I could do it. I am a packrat. I keep loads of old junk that is of no use at all. That is why I would have a hard time packing one small bag. Another problem for me would be that I have grown up with animals my whole entire life, usually dogs, and according to Mr. R I am not allowed to bring pets. Though in the book, Peter Van Daan brings his cat, so I think I should be able to bring my dogs.  I also cannot survive without technology so my question for Mr. R is does my “Secret Annex” have electricity?  What I would bring in my one small bag would…

 Sorry Mr. R I tried to put pictures but my computer was not letting me. Sorry. I will work on it some more.

Posted in Anne Frank | | | 5 Comments

Forbidden Self

November 15th, 2006 by alexh

You look at me. What do you see? A girl? Or do you see the soul beneath the surface? 

The soul that screams for freedom. Fighting to be heard. Clawing at the wall. The forbidden me. 

You say you know. You think you do.You are not the only one. People who are so blind.  

Watching and waiting. Things that I cannot bear. I cannot replace these feelings inside. If only they knew. 

If only they could see. Could see the forbidden me. 

Will it forever be this way? My true self hidden deep inside. For fear of what they will think. Those who love me.                

Should they accept me?

Would they learn to understand the hidden me?

Could they love my forbidden self?

Posted in Poetry | | | 5 Comments

Simon’s Diary

November 14th, 2006 by alexh

The sun reflected against the butterflies’ wings, sending flashes of white light into my eyes.  The cool breeze caused the grass to sway. A billowing cloud passed in front of the sun, adding an air of menace. The creepers moved in the sudden wind. Casting snake shadows.  Then as quickly it had gone the sun had returned. The shadows, as if banished by the sun, disappeared. A rustling noise drifted towards me, followed by a nervous squeal.  A sow rushed into the clearing.  She slowed, thinking she must have reached safety. Behind her trailed two spears shafts, their heads buried deep into her flank.  She cast her eyes to the sky, as if praying for redemption.  She must have known.  More rustling. This one quieter, someone or something was trying their hardest to be silent.  The sow looked on in distress.  Jack, along with his posse, burst into the clearing.  Slow motion. She still had fight left.  Again a large cloud blocked the loving warmth of the sun.  The shadows again danced in the wind.  The snakes slithering, trying to reach me.  Her heaving body was covered in adrenaline filled men. No, not men. Boys.  Young men once considered proper.  Now look at them. They stabbed her repeatedly. Again and again, the horrid sound of flesh giving way. Her squeals became more frenzied.  This seemed to drive the boys faster. Their stabbing also became a faster rhythm.  Jack drew his knife as the sun once more appeared. The metal glinting in the sun. I at once remembered our first day here. This time there was no pause.  He struck. Slicing the jugular. No feeling. Blood. One last squeal.  Death.   Jack stood.  His hands covered in the evidence of the kill. Her blood. He laughed. Once a stern but gentle laugh, now cold and malicious.  The rest joined in the uncalled for laughter.  The sow’s innards were heaped in a pile near her head.  Cut off. Her head. Stick.  She seemed to smile at me, from her new perch.  Her guts still loitered the ground, attracting flies.  Her blood ran down the stick.  She. Smiling. Talking. Whisperings. The lord of the flies.  No more butterflies.  No more sunlight. Just that smile and me.  That smile. Darkness.

 

I once again awoke. The lord of the flies, still smiling proudly, seem as if to speak. “ You are a silly little boy, just an ignorant, silly little boy.” The lord informed me.  “Don’t you agree?” I tried to answer. My swollen tongue forbidding me to speak.  Batty.   Do they really think that? Afraid yes I am afraid. I am terrified. I again tried to speak. This time putting forth audible words. “Pig’s head on a stick.”  He, the beast? The lord laughed pompously.  The sound ringing in my ears, and through out the forest. He was part of me.  The lord of the flies.  Inside all of us.   My eyelids, suddenly heavy, started to drupe. He spoke like a schoolmaster.  “This has gone quiet far enough. My poor, misguided child, do you think you know better than I do?” he paused to let that sink.  I was drifting in and out of conciseness.  “ I’m warning you. I’m going to get angry. D’you see?  You’re not wanted. Understand? We are going to have fun on this island! So don’t try it on, my poor misguided boy, or else…” I was almost there. Almost at the edge. I looked up into the vast mouth of the lord of the flies.   That mouth. That smile. I was now inside.  There I was at the brink of losing control, and I fell into a deep sleep.  With sunlight falling all around me.  Flies gorging themselves on the lord of the flies’ innards.   Its there that I woke at dusk that very same night.

Posted in Creative Writing | | | Comments Off

What is courage?

November 14th, 2006 by alexh

Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to put what is more important to you first. My definition of courage actually comes from a movie but ever since I heard this, it has stuck with me.  When I hear the word courage I do not immediately think of a superhero or a gladiator, I think of the everyday people who put other’s lives in front of their fears. Or even just a girl who is afraid to stand up in front of a crowd but knows that she should if she wants to be an actress.  The little things people do everyday are signs of courage. A boy asking the girl he likes out is courage.  Even people who think they have no courage have some. It lives inside every person, and thing. Animals that shy away from people will defend their selves and families if needed. Some bigger examples of courage are the soldiers in the army. They go to war, with a chance of death. I bet they get scared but they still fight for their country’s freedom and the freedom of their family. I understand that some people measure courage by some ones deeds, but I measure it by this definition. This quote that says that anyone and everyone has courage, even if it is buried deep, it is there, hidden inside. Waiting for its time to shine.

Posted in Anne Frank | | | 1 Comments

Quarter One

November 14th, 2006 by alexh

During the first quarter of the school year, my class and I read The Lord of the Flies by William Golding.  I have heard many different opinions of this book ranging from utter dislike to endless praise.  In my opinion the book was fantastic. Especially the personal battles between what the characters think is the right thing to do along with the hidden meanings of common objects.  We were asked to grade ourselves upon how we completed different aspects of this unit; Reading the book, in-class discussions, and our final project. We had to show our understanding of the ESLRs and Bloom’s Taxonomy to explain why we gave ourselves the grade we did and what we could have done to improve.  We were also asked to point out a few ESLRs that we did not achieve but think we should have.       

While reading the book I thought I was a Critical Thinker because I gathered, analyzed, and processed information from a variety of sources. In my own words this means that when I didn’t understand something or had a question that I asked more then one person, so that I could get more then one meaning or answer. That reminded me of a committee of equals because on a committee everyone has a chance to voice their own opinions and ideas and they decide which is the best way to go.  I would ask people what they thought a specific object or event symbolized and then I would compare it to what I thought it symbolized. I could have improved this area by asking for more people’s opinions and not only comparing them to mine but also to one another’s. In this area I gave my self a seven out of ten because I asked for opinions and also asked people to clarify questions or assignments for me when I didn’t understand.

I think I should have been more of a Self-Directed Learner while reading the book because I did not demonstrate competency in goal setting, time management, or organizational skills. When I read this I feel it means that I didn’t always keep up with my reading and almost never reached my nightly goals.  This skill reminds me of my planner for it was designed to help me not to forget my homework. I could have achieved this skill by setting a specific reading time every night so that I could insure that I was up to date with my reading. I gave my self a two out of ten in this area because I was often lagging behind on my reading because I waited until the last moment to read, but I did in fact read the book.

For my in-class discussions and lectures I thought I was a Self-Directed Learner because I identified my needs and applied appropriate learning strategies.  In my own words that means I found methods of learning that help me to remember the material more easily. To do this I thought about what usually helps me to remember, color, that made me think of the rainbow and how all the colors have an order. I started color-coding things in the order of the rainbow so that I knew which events and notes came first. I could have done this better by also coming up with more methods and letting people who learn similarly to me use my methods so that I could be an Involved Citizen. I would give myself a seven out of ten in this area because I used my color-coding but it did not always help me to understand the allegories.        

The ESLR that I think I should have accomplished more in class was Academic Achiever, because I did not continually assess, evaluate, and adjust my work to maintain high standards. To me that means I didn’t use my old work to help me make my newer work better.  That reminded me of revising an old paper. You re-write your paper again and each time you learn something new and each time you make it that much better then the last one. I could have done this by revising and re-writing my creative writing to add more voice, and also add voice to my personality paper. I could also re-read chapters that I had a hard time understanding. In this area I give myself a three out of ten because I would sometimes re-read chapters that I had trouble with, but I mostly just asked someone else to explain it to me.         

While completing my project, for which I did Simon’s diary, I think that I was an Effective Communicator because I incorporated and utilized technology as a tool for communication.  In my words this means that I used technology to make my project easier to understand and more interesting by typing so that it was clearer and using an online thesaurus.  This reminds me of the Sistine Chapel (even though it is entirely irrelevant but it here because this is what it really reminds me of.) because before Michelangelo was called in it was bare and uninteresting. In this example the Sistine Chapel represents the project and Michelangelo the technology, because if the Roman Catholic church had not gotten technology to make the project beautiful I am sure nobody would be talking about it to this day (plus wasn’t art a way for Michelangelo to express himself).  I could have done this better by adding doodles as if it were a real diary. In this area I gave myself an eight out of ten because I typed my diary entries so that they were easy to read and I also used an online thesaurus to add voice.           

An ESLR that I think I should have accomplished in this area was Self-Directed Learner because I did not take creative risks in developing new ideas. When I hear this it means to that I didn’t try any new ideas that would have made my project extremely unique.  This reminds me of cartoonists (also irrelevant but true) because they have to come up with cartoon ideas and characters that nobody has ever had before. I could have done this by adding colors and my own doodles. I gave myself a four out of ten because my projects appearance wasn’t that good or unique, but I did use any actual diary cover, which nobody else did.       

In conclusion, I think that I did well during this quarter because overall I was a Self-Directed Learner, an Effective Communicator, and a Critical Thinker. The two ESLRs that I need to work on for next quarter are Involved Citizen and Academic Achiever. I not enjoyed only the book but also the entire section on The Lord of the Flies.  I am actually not looking forward to reading Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl because I have heard it is a tough read, but I do want to learn more about the struggles and hardships of the Holocaust.

Posted in Reflective Journal | | | Comments Off

Heya

November 12th, 2006 by alexh

Heya people. This is my space. My blog is full of my work. I am planning to put my poems, creative writing, and reflective journals entries. I am excited about doing this because i get to share things with other people. If you would like to read the work of my friends just click on this link, English Eight.

Thanks for looking at my space.
I hope you come back soon.

Posted in General | | | 1 Comments

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